The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

You know what's fucking bullshit, Terrible Achievements.


Before the Xbox 360 launched Microsoft announced the idea of achievements. Games would have set goals that gamers could complete to get points. The more points you had the bigger your E-Dick would be. It sounded awesome it increased replay value, and you could show off what you had completed. Yes its just for bragging rights but no one can say getting an achievement doesn't feel awesome. But all is not well in the land of achievements some games the achievements really shit all over you. I'll break it down into 2 Categories to show how much bullshit these are.

(credit to vgcats.com)

Single Player Achievements
First off all games should only contain single player achievements, but will get to that later. Most people would think complete the single player and gain achievements as you go through. Oh how wrong you would be. Example: Guitar Hero III. By far the worst fucking single player list to date.


Guitar Hero is a music game? Get the fuck out. Yup this achievement actually wants you to turn down the music. Was one of the developers on the team deaf and was pissed at all the fun his fellow employees who could hear were having? Because when I think fun in a music game I think playing with absolutely no noise. Then I can really hear the slapping of my fingers against a plastic guitar. AWESOME


Seriously? Complete the whole fucking career lefty and righty? Because thats fun. The real kicker its only worth 10 fucking points. 10


There are no words.

Multiplayer Achievements
Heres where the shit really hits the fan. The problem is players will just head online with the one goal of getting X achievement and it ruins multiplayer. Example: Turok.


Disregard your team, disregard your goal, just torture the same person 5 times. What the fuck were they thinking?

Last but not least the cream of the shit crop. Multiplayer leaderboard achievements. These achievements are just ridiculous. Example: G.R.A.W

It really should just read: You will never get these. Ever.

I know these are just some examples of the terrible achievements that exist but in closing this needs to change. But whats the answer? Call of Duty 4. Perfect Achievements. The single player ones involve for the most part progressing through the story, and theres no multiplayer ones keeping the achievement seekers off. If you really want multiplayer achievement then developers should make them tasks you will just complete in normal play.