The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

And Everything Else In Between

The Second Rant (Archieved Blog Post)

You know what's fucking bullshit, Terrible Achievements.


Before the Xbox 360 launched Microsoft announced the idea of achievements. Games would have set goals that gamers could complete to get points. The more points you had the bigger your E-Dick would be. It sounded awesome it increased replay value, and you could show off what you had completed. Yes its just for bragging rights but no one can say getting an achievement doesn't feel awesome. But all is not well in the land of achievements some games the achievements really shit all over you. I'll break it down into 2 Categories to show how much bullshit these are.

(credit to vgcats.com)

Single Player Achievements
First off all games should only contain single player achievements, but will get to that later. Most people would think complete the single player and gain achievements as you go through. Oh how wrong you would be. Example: Guitar Hero III. By far the worst fucking single player list to date.


Guitar Hero is a music game? Get the fuck out. Yup this achievement actually wants you to turn down the music. Was one of the developers on the team deaf and was pissed at all the fun his fellow employees who could hear were having? Because when I think fun in a music game I think playing with absolutely no noise. Then I can really hear the slapping of my fingers against a plastic guitar. AWESOME


Seriously? Complete the whole fucking career lefty and righty? Because thats fun. The real kicker its only worth 10 fucking points. 10


There are no words.

Multiplayer Achievements
Heres where the shit really hits the fan. The problem is players will just head online with the one goal of getting X achievement and it ruins multiplayer. Example: Turok.


Disregard your team, disregard your goal, just torture the same person 5 times. What the fuck were they thinking?

Last but not least the cream of the shit crop. Multiplayer leaderboard achievements. These achievements are just ridiculous. Example: G.R.A.W

It really should just read: You will never get these. Ever.

I know these are just some examples of the terrible achievements that exist but in closing this needs to change. But whats the answer? Call of Duty 4. Perfect Achievements. The single player ones involve for the most part progressing through the story, and theres no multiplayer ones keeping the achievement seekers off. If you really want multiplayer achievement then developers should make them tasks you will just complete in normal play. Continue Reading»

GTA4 Review (Archieved Blog Post)



A Return to the Greatest City on Earth

The last time gamers saw Liberty city was its premiere in Grand Theft Auto III the game that propelled the PS2 and some consider the best GTA yet. But as soon as you step off the boat your opinion will change. Yes the majority of your stay in Liberty City will be spent completing missions, making friends, the usual. But Rockstar has changed quite a bit that makes this the best Grand Theft Auto to date.

The Empire State
First and foremost is the setting itself. Rockstar has really outdone itself by creating the most realistic city in video games. Skyscrapers spanning the whole city, a working subway system, a huge diverse population of people, it all makes for a more believable city. The first time you fly up in a helicopter and see the city will blow your mind. The whole scale of the city is incredible and is a true technical marvel.

One Man Army
One you get control of Niko you will notice much has changed in the gameplay department. Health and armor are attached to the map in the lower left. You replenish health by eating or sleeping. Since you are immediately put in a vehicle the first thing you will notice is how vehicles handle. Instead of relying on the handbrake on every turn driving has changed dramatically. Vehicles now drive more realistically, all a handbrake will do is usually send you spinning out of control. Cars handle like cars, bikes, vans, SUVs, and trucks alike. It takes some time to get used to but in the end is superior because it actually feels like your driving a car. Next up is hand to hand fighting. Opponents will defend themselves and bring the fight to you so instead of relying on brute force Niko uses a counter system. You can still punch, kick, and beat people up but the real tactic is to wait for your opponent to attack then preform a counter. Some of these are really awesome including punch combos and round house kicks to name a few. But whats a GTA without guns? The biggest change you will see is the new cover system. Instead of going in guns ablaze you will utilize whatever cover you can. When you hit the Right Bumper Niko will cling to the nearest object.

From here you can blind fire as well as pop in and out to fire off a few rounds. It's not perfect sometimes you will jump to the wrong object, or get stuck in cover. But overall it works and makes gun fights far more enjoyable. Blind firing a grenade and watching your enemies soar through the air never gets old. With all this action your bound to attract some attention. Cops are still present and harder to escape this time around. A circle representing a zone where the cops are surrounds you, in order to get rid of the stars you must escape this circle. The more stars you have the bigger the circle gets, hiding inside the zone will do nothing. Sometimes when your just about to escape the circle a cop will turn the corner and see you and the circle will move, it really makes you feel like your being perused.

The American Dream
You play illegal immigrant Niko Bellic just as he enters America for the first time. Roman, his cousin tells Niko of the fortune he has gained in America. Unfortunately when Niko arrives he realizes that achieving the American dream is going to be tougher than he imagined. IGN stated in their review that the story is "Oscar Worthy" I wouldn't go that far. Without giving anything away the story isn't as simple as getting to the top, but isn't exceptional by any means. Although the story is by far the best out of all the grand theft auto games, and it will compel you to keep playing. The single player mainly strives because of the phenomenal voice acting, dialogue and the sheer amount of characters you encounter. You will meet dozens of characters all with unique personalities that will keep you interested.

Oh the things you'll see...
GTA IV really shines when you see the amount of things they are to accomplish. The game is roughly 30 hours, but you will spend far more time in liberty city. There are 94 main story missions, but those just scratch the surface. Everything is done through your cell phone, this is one of the best additions to the game. It makes dealing with amount the game throws at you far easier. You start off small by helping your cousin, and then start making connections and friends. Through these friends you will obtain more missions, but Rockstar has added a social element. You can takes these friends out drinking, bowling, pool and a whole plethora of activities. By taking these friends out they will begin to like you, when they do they will give you some sort of benefit. Although dealing with friends can become frustrating it portrays an actual social life perfectly. You cant call friends to early, late, or too often. If you ignore your friends they will like you less and you will loose the benefits of being friends. Because of the friends and characters you meet throughout the game you will have to make decisions. These are some of the hardest decisions to make. It makes killing and saving little sisters look like child's play. These decisions have an impact on the story and change outcomes, because of this it really makes you think about what you're about to do.

The missions vary from the standard go to destination X and do Y, to following a target in a helicopter, to some really interesting ones. But even after you beat the main story missions the amount left to do is daunting. You can go out on dates through the in game internet, meet random people on the streets, make friends like you, race, preform 10 deliveries for Brucie, collect 30 cars scattered throughout the city for Stevie, be a courier for Jacob, drive for Roman, go bowling, play pool, go drinking, capture criminals on the streets for cops, hunt down the most wanted in Liberty City, complete 50 stunt jumps, collect every hidden package. Honestly the list goes on and on. Rockstar has created such a robust single player it will make you wonder how they fit it all on one disc.

and what you'll do.
If the single player isn't enough, Rockstar has added a multiplayer element to the game. With up to sixteen player support and a wide range of modes. You enter the multiplayer mode through your cell phone where you can choose a player or ranked match. From here you choose the mode you would like to play. From this point you enter free mode. Where you and other players enter liberty city where you can do anything you want. If you can think it you can do it. Along with free mode theres the standard deathmatch and team deathmatch. GTA Race with any vehicle you can possibly imagine, its like mario kart on crack. Cops 'n Crooks my personal favorite where one team is the crooks must get to a point on the map to escape while the cops peruse trying to eliminate them. Turf War in which teams compete for control of territories much like king of the hill, a carjacking mode, three cooperative missions that support up to four players (with more to come), and more.


Overall if you own an Xbox 360 or PS3 GTA4 is a game you must get. It has an enormous single player that goes well beyond the main story missions. A robust multiplayer that will keep you playing. Rockstar has really outdone themselves by creating the best GTA to date and one of the most immersing games I've ever seen.

Final Verdict: A- Continue Reading»

Iron Man Review (Archieved Blog Post)

Ah to be a summer blockbuster. Iron Man, my first anticipated movie of 2008 turns out to be worth the wait...

The film begins with the perfectly cast Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark demonstrating a new type of missile to the military in Afghanistan. On his departure his convoy (funvee lol) is attacked, which leads to Downey being held captive by generic, middle eastern terrorist group. They order Stark to build the missile he was demonstrating under almost no supervision. In hindsight it seems foolish that these terrorists would leave Stark unattended especially since while they are watching they even say "it doesn't look like a missile". Well the terrorists soon pay for their moronic actions when Stark instead builds a prototype of the iron man suit and beats the shit out of everyone.

Stark returns home and announces that Stark Industries will cease all weapon and military projects, and will stop producing weapons. Enter Obediah Stane (Jeff Bridges), who becomes worried about the companies future. A power struggle between Stane and Stark develops. Bridges does a great job of turning into the villain throughout the movie, making it a believable transition. From here the movie develops as you would expect, as were introduced to the other cast. Stark's assistant Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) creates great chemistry with Downey throughout the film. Terence Howard who plays Jim Rhodes perfectly portrays Tonys best friend and right hand man (and has one of my favorite one liners in the movie)

So overall, the action scenes are great even with the plentiful CG, the camera work looks awesome. Sometimes the technology can be over the top. The comic relief is funny but sometimes also pushes it. The cast is great, and the story works (although the ending is just ok).


But its a damn fun ride, and thats all it had to be.

Final Verdict: B+

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